The Worst

I have seen videos and read articles about some terrible things in this world. A story of a little girl named Brianna Lopez broke my heart. Stories about abused and mistreated children make me feel ill. I don't understand all the evil in this world and it makes me sick.

Just recently I was kind of day dreaming of what the world would be like if I was the worst person in this world. Not that I would be any different than I am right now. However, I would still be the worst. The worst mother, the worst wife... daughter, sister, friend, Christian. My children, who I would give my life for, would be the most mistreated, unloved kids in the world. Even knowing I was the worst I think I'd trade that for what the world is like now. Every child should be loved and cared for and cherished. They should be thought of as a blessing and a joy.

I feel that way about children and so do many others. When does that change? When do people stop feeling that same way about children? When they are 13 or 15 or 19? At what point do we change our standard for the way we treat people? It bothers me as I write this. I bother me as I write this.

I am thankful for a God who loves me. I am thankful that I have a future beyond this world. One that has no pain and suffering.

A Good Question

On my other blog I posted this story. As my 3 year old daughter and I drove down the road I was singing a song and clapping along. My daughter asked me if I was using one hand or two to clap. After I told her "two", she asked me "Then who is steering?" At the time I laughed and was amazed at her deep thoughts.

Later on I started thinking about how that is such a good question. Not in terms of who was controlling the direction of our car, but who is directing my path. In a quick thought I'd say the Lord. That is an answer I'd be proud of and it is one that I even desire. However, if I really examine all the little parts that make up my life I would have to say that at best I'm the backseat driver. Many times I pray asking God to: take this route or that shortcut, turn here or make this stop. I pray that His will would line up with my map quest coordinates. That He would work around my plans and my timeline. When I do pray to fulfill God's purpose for my life do I really mean that? Or only if it is convenient and coincides with my plan?

This simple question gave me a lot to think about.

World Vision

I was thinking about my world vision or lack there of. Some people have a better ability to think globally than I do. I'm grateful for them. There have been times that I have felt like there was something wrong with me since I don't share that same burden and passion as those who give their whole lives in ministry to those in countries overseas. I care about sick and starving children where ever they may be and it would be great to see people near and far come to know Christ Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. Am I narrow minded, cold or selfish for not making this my mission in life as well? I have struggled, internally, with that in the past.

I am able to say, today, that I am content with the vision that God has given me. I am able to support others with these types of ministries even though God didn't place that same burden and passion on my heart. We all have the responsibility to share Christ with others. We can't all have the same mission field, however. I want to live with the purpose that He intends for me through the passions and burdens that He lays on my heart.